Schutte family
Beyond the silence of loss: A family's tale of healing, hope, and the birth of a rainbow baby
One afternoon, in the quiet space of the ultrasound room that was once filled with dreams of a growing family, the heartbreaking truth unfolded: there was no heartbeat.
Kim and Alex Schutte had dreamed of building a family together, and their pregnancy journey unfolded with unexpected joy. Kim’s love for being pregnant took her by surprise, and each moment with Ethan filled her with happiness—particularly when she felt his gentle movements in response to music.
“It was such a joyous thing to be a mother,” Kim shares. “It's not the easiest, but it just brings much more meaning to life than you could ever even imagine.”
As the months passed and Kim reached the 38th week of her pregnancy, a subtle concern crept in. The once lively movements of Ethan had slowed down. Worried, Kim reached out to her obstetrician, who advised her to immediately go in. At the doctor's office, they attempted to monitor Ethan's heartbeat, but “it was not working,” Kim says. “They took me to the ultrasound room and at that point they said, ‘Okay, call Alex.’”
Alex, at work, rushed to Kim's side. “When I walked in, I just knew, I could just see it on their faces,” he recalls. “She had tears in her eyes.” The doctor's office suddenly became a place of unbearable grief, confirming the unimaginable: they had lost their baby boy.
Nine hours of labor later, Kim and Alex held Ethan for the first and last time. With heavy hearts, they left the hospital not with their baby, but with a blue box containing Ethan's tiny fingerprints and footprints.
“We took that blue box and had to walk through the front, with all those nice happy families all taking their babies home,” says Alex. “And we took our blue box, made the drive back, and walked in the door and had to sit with the fact that we're home, our baby's not, and how do we move forward from this?”
The pain of losing Ethan at 38 weeks, when everything had seemed perfectly normal, was a heartbreaking blow. “There was long grieving period, there still is a grieving period,” Kim shares. “We had still wanted a family and needed to take some time.”
Three years after Ethan’s passing, Kim and Alex welcomed Bella Louise into the world. The joy and anticipation of bringing Bella home were a stark contrast to the somber memories of their last departure from the hospital.
Bella brought renewed happiness into their lives, and they cherish every moment with her. Her presence remains a reminder of hope and healing. With Bella, they experienced the joy of tiny outfits, family introductions, and the simple pleasure of having her at home. “Just having the perspective of the loss that we felt, we pour so much love into her and we're just so grateful that we were able to have our rainbow baby,” Alex shares.
Moved by their experience, Alex joined the Executive Leadership Committee of March of Dimes. In honoring Ethan's memory, Kim and Alex found purpose in supporting an organization that strives to give every parent the chance to bring their baby home. And sharing their story became a mission to raise awareness and support for other families who might face similar challenges, demonstrating that even in the face of profound loss, love and hope can prevail.