Mitch Taylor

‘As a dad, there was nothing I could do’: Feeling powerless in the face of crisis

When his wife’s water broke at just 18 weeks, Mitch Taylor felt his world collapse around him. Up until that point, the pregnancy had gone smoothly, but hearing Ashley scream his name from the bathroom sent fear flooding in. "I was panicking, but I knew I had to be calm," he recalls, as they rushed to Inova Alexandria Hospital in Virginia. "I thought we had lost the pregnancy."

Ashley was quickly transferred to Inova Fairfax Hospital, where she spent five agonizing weeks on bed rest. During those long days, Mitch watched her among other expectant moms facing similar complications, and he had never felt so helpless. "As a dad, there was nothing I could do," he recalls. "I couldn't trade places with her. I couldn't really help her. I couldn't help her think through it. All I could do was trust the people trained to do the job.”

When Ashley went into labor, things progressed quickly. By the time Mitch parked the car and rushed into the room, their daughter, Julia, had already been born. His heart pounded as he looked to his mother-in-law and asked the impossible question: “Is she alive?”

The nod he received in response brought momentary relief, but the reality of their situation quickly set in. Julia Taylor entered this world at just 23 weeks and 6 days, weighing a mere 1 pound, 2.3 ounces and measuring 10.1 inches—small enough to fit in the palm of Mitch’s hand. While Ashley was determined to do “everything possible” to save their daughter, Mitch had no illusions about what he could contribute. In that moment, all he could do was trust the NICU team fighting for Julia’s survival.

Walking into the NICU for the first time was overwhelming. The scene was chaotic: 12 to 15 medical professionals urgently working on his tiny daughter, with more coming and going. Mitch froze at the doorway as the doctor approached, explaining the situation amidst a blur of voices. Forms were thrust into his hands—blood donations, consent for milk, and continued care—as Mitch struggled to comprehend what was happening to the fragile life they had created.

The NICU itself was a blur of lights, monitors, and numbers—all things difficult to make sense of in the moment. Mitch’s mind raced as he thought about how he would explain it all to Ashley. Her first question would be about Julia’s condition. Mitch, usually calm under pressure, found himself overwhelmed by the rawness of the situation. The fragility of life had never felt so real.

“As soon as I reached into her isolate, Julia reached up and grabbed my pinky,” Mitch recalls. He stayed by her side in the NICU for the first 72 hours, while Ashley was resting and recovering. “I recall getting text messages saying, ‘You do still need to eat food,’” Mitch says with a smile.

Over the next six months, Julia faced countless medical challenges, including a level three brain bleed. When the fluid in her brain wasn't draining properly, doctors placed a shunt that later became infected and had to be removed. Through every setback and victory, Mitch and Ashley stood strong together, learning to navigate the rollercoaster of NICU life day by day.

As the weeks turned into months, the couple discovered they weren't alone on this journey. The March of Dimes NICU Family Support® staff offered an unexpected source of comfort. "We were able to connect with other families that had gone through this," Mitch says. "We were given just welcome distractions." This became a lifeline for Mitch and Ashley, easing their fears and confusions by providing both practical support and emotional connection with others who understood their experience.

One of the most meaningful aspects of their NICU journey was kangaroo care. During their first session, Mitch went second for skin-to-skin contact, following Ashley’s lead. He believes those moments were turning points not only for them but for Julia too. “It meant as much to us as it did to her,” Mitch says. “She needed to feel our warmth, hear our heartbeats, and have our hands around her.” He recalls how one of the nurses expressed pride in him for doing kangaroo care, noting that many dads aren't comfortable with it. Mitch, however, couldn't imagine not doing it, urging every father to take that opportunity, especially when their child is small. "Hold your baby as soon as you can," he advises. "They need to know you’re there. It makes all the difference."

To other fathers navigating the NICU, Mitch also emphasizes the importance of mental health support. "Talk to someone—a professional if available, or a trusted friend or family member," he urges. “Let the emotion out. It will benefit you in ways you can’t imagine.”

After six long months of daily hospital visits, setbacks, and small victories, Julia finally came home. Today, despite the challenges they faced in the NICU, she is thriving with "so much personality, so much passion," Ashley says proudly.

Reflecting on the journey, Mitch acknowledges that their road to parenthood was nothing like what they expected. “Going through this NICU journey has definitely revealed to me that I’m a much stronger person than I ever would've imagined I could have been,” Ashley shares. And Mitch discovered strength within himself that he never knew he had.

While Mitch didn’t have the power to fix what was happening—who does?—his presence and steadiness were crucial to his family. This, he believes, was made possible in part by the support they received. “March of Dimes is an incredible organization,” Mitch says. “I wouldn't trade that type of support and those types of resources for anything else in the world when you're going through the NICU.”