By Lori Goser
When my daughter was born in March of 2000 and was admitted to the NICU, I remember being terrified. I didn’t know anything about the NICU and had no idea what to expect. I got to the NICU as quickly as my doctor would allow, and remember spending days on end, sitting by her bedside and waiting for the nurses to tell me what I could and couldn’t do with her. There was no NICU Family Support® program back then, and no one to help me advocate for her or to teach me about how to be a part of her care team.
My daughter is grown now, and she’s happy and healthy and a mother herself. I’m eternally grateful for the medical team that saved her life and allowed me to bring her home. But I have often wondered how my experience could have been different. What if I could have spent those early days being involved in her care?
It's been a pretty full-circle experience for me to work for March of Dimes. It’s been a gift to use my personal and professional experience to help other NICU families, first at the bedside as a NICU Family Support Program Coordinator and then as a part of our national team, leading the parent education part of our work for sites across the country. I’ve learned a lot in the years since my NICU experience. If I could talk to the parent I was back then, I would give myself three pieces of advice.
It’s OK to ask a lot of questions. You are not a visitor in the NICU, but an important part of a team taking care of your baby. Ask questions, and then ask again if you don’t understand. Do what you can with your baby, whether that’s holding them, reading to them, changing a diaper, or feeding them. All of those things help you bond with your baby.
Take care of yourself too. This can feel so challenging when all you want to do is care for your baby. But remember that a little self-care also allows you to be the best caregiver for your baby. Making sure you eat, drink plenty of water, rest when you can, and lean on friends and family to help when possible. Your physical and emotional health are both important!
There’s a lot of support out there for you. Don’t be afraid to take it. Reach out to friends and family and let them help. This might look like someone to listen when you need to talk, or it might look like someone making a meal or handling laundry. If they offer, say yes. You can also find support through NICU staff (nurses, social workers, chaplains) and there are national organizations designed to help like these.